Update

There are seasons in life that call for a reassessing of goals, ambitions, direction etc. I've gone through a few seasons since my last public blog post. I have kept my thoughts private as I've journey the past year of so. Now I'm ready to rediscover putting myself out there for others to see. Not that I have a huge following, but the fact that it's out there in the public forum for anyone to read is daunting enough.
Today brings a new determination to be brave in the face of fear and of the unknown. I like to take the safe tried and true route. One problem with that is that I see the same old scenery and miss out on discovering other beautiful scenery.
Like a lot of people I have a tendency to stay in my comfort zone. It's familiar  even if it's not the best. But when I stay in my comfort zone, I'm in effect saying I like the status quo. I don't want anything better. Truth is I do want better. I want more. To get more, I have to take risks and I have to get uncomfortable.
There's a fine line between keeping peace and compromising your values. I like peace. I like for people to get along. But sometimes you have to risk disruption to stand up for what is right.
I'm getting better about being brave. I'm not done yet. Growth. like life is a journey that continues day after day. We shouldn't finish growing and maturing until we breathe our last breath.
If you read this, first thanks, and second do something unusual today. Something that says, I'm ready for more even if it means I get messy.

Whew!

I just realized it's been such a long time since I have posted. Life has a way of getting busy sometimes. And boy has mine been busy!
I started back to school to get my degree in Christian Counseling. I was praying one morning about something completely different and the Lord said it was time to go back to school and get that degree. He has plans for me to use it. I don't know the details but that's ok because I know He does!
I started taking online classes through Liberty University in October of 2013. So far I have completed 21 hours. I have enjoyed most of my classes although it has been overwhelming at times just to keep up with all the reading in between work, family and church obligations!
Ah...looks like that is all for now. My day is already getting too busy! Blessings to all and may God continue to meet you where you are and minister to all your needs.

The Lord speaks and acts

Genesis 21 was my bible reading this morning. And the very first verse I read spoke volumes to me.

"And the Lord visited Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah as He had spoken."
There wasn't a lot of fanfare or embellishment....simply the Lord did as He had said. The writer felt no need to explain anything more than that. It was not a surprise for the Lord to do as He said!

Yesterday, the Lord did as He said for me. And you know what? I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! I wanted everyone to know how marvelous my God is and how faithful. Because these days it seems people have forgotten that the Lord does as He says.

And that makes me sad. God hasn't changed. He's still faithful to do what He says. It's His people that have changed. We've lost sight of our assurance in God. We attribute to Him the same characteristics of man and that's simply not the way it is. 

The Lord did as He had spoken. The Lord does as He has spoken. The Lord is doing as He has spoken. 

Praise you Lord and thank you Jesus that you do as you say. I am awed by your glory and your majesty!!

Matthew 16:26

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"

It's so easy to get distracted by the ways of the world. Our culture is always striving to have the best, to develop or possess the latest and greatest gadgets, clothes, etc. And we get so caught up in work trying to get attain what we're led to believe is ideal. But in the long run what does that really get us? It's been my experience that what you end up is misery. Why? Because we are not made for this world. And what our soul longs for is Heavenly things.

For myself I have to remember to choose wisely, to walk in the ways of the Lord, to do all things as unto Him.

Lord, help me to keep your face in focus. Guide me through this world show me how to remain in the world yet set apart from it.

Matthew 9:13

Matthew 9:13 in the New King James reads: But go and learn what this means: "I desire mercy and not sacrifice." For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance."

When I read that I think about all the times I've "hidden" from the Lord because of sin. It's times when I've felt that I really failed the Lord with my sinful ways that I try to avoid Him. Yet those are the times I need Him most and the times He longs for me to return to Him.

I know the Lord longs for me to walk rightly and follow where He leads, but He's not a God who says this is your last chance or one more mistake and you're out. He's the one true God who desires mercy and calls the sinner to Him and to repentance.

Lord, help me to run to you at all times....even those times I feel dirty with sin. I know my only hope and salvation is in YOU. Amen

Matthew 8:13

"Then Jesus said to the centurion, 'Go your way, and as you have believed, so let it be done for you.' And his servant was healed that very hour." (NKJV)

The centurion believed. That was all it took! How often do we feel like we need to jump through hoops or figure out a magic formula for healing or anything we ask of Him? All it really takes is to ask and to believe.

I often find it easy to believe on behalf of someone else but let doubt creep into believing for myself. And just a tiny bit of doubt spoils the whole lot of belief. God says to me, just like that centurion believed and received immediately, so can you.

Lord, help my unbelief. Help me to stop coming up with plan b, c, d if you don't come through. I just need more of you Jesus! Amen

Matthew 7:7

"Ask, and it will be given to you; Seek and you will find; Knock, and it will be opened to you." (NKJV)

God says to me, be active in your faith and in your walk. God is here all around with outstretched hands. I have to open my eyes to see Him...to seek Him out. I have to open my hand to receive all He has to offer.

Right now God is leading me through doors that He opened when I knocked! Not only is He opening those doors, but He led me to those doors because I sought Him out!

Lord, help me to be more active in my walk and in my faith. Help me as I seek You out and meet You in Your word. Give me the grace to follow after you with all my heart. Amen.

When God Speaks

Many years ago, God spoke into my heart the dream/calling of being a counselor. I majored in Psychology in college and even worked with juveniles for a while doing counseling. The issue that drove me away was the inability to detach from people and be clinical.

So I wrote that off as something of my own desire rather than the voice of God. But I still loved being an attentive ear to friends, family, colleagues, etc. And I would get insight into the heart of the matter....only possible with God.

Fast forward a few years and I'm doing an assessment to determine my spiritual gift as part of a bible study. Any guesses as to my gift? Encourager/counselor. Well I already kind of knew that God was using me to encourage people. It's one of the things I've always felt deep in my heart. So I began to just think the dream of counselor was really just part of being an encourager.

One of the most powerful things drawing me and my husband together was a desire for ministry. God has made it very clear to both of us that He has a powerful plan for us as a ministry team.

This morning my husband said God gave me a little glimpse of our ministry together. And I said oh yeah what was it? His answer.....christian counseling. God is good and faithful.

A time to heal

When you are weak He is strong. When you are hurting, He will heal your heart. When you can't see through the fog, He will lead you to safety...He is with you, He will never leave you, He has everything you need, and His love will make a way. Thank you Jesus.

The above words were authored by the site Groundwire. I look forward to their posts. They are always encouraging and timely. I know that God has His hand on their ministry and my subscription to it.

It can be so easy to become complacent in our prayer lives. And sometimes God uses a dream or a choice phrase to say, hey, don't get comfortable, don't forget that enemy is lurking waiting to strike. And like a good girl I receive that warning. But then I relax thinking all is well again. 

So when that attack happens it knocks the breath out of me. It shakes my foundation and I feel like I'm floating....all gravity is gone. 

Then I'm reminded by the Father that I am not alone. He is strong and capable and loving. He is with me, He loves me and He will make a way.

Hold on

Life isn't always easy but it's good. I can't remember where I heard that line but it's a lot of truth. But we're not called to an easy life. In fact, Jesus himself said that in this life we would have trouble. The great thing is that He never leaves us or forsakes us so when we are having those times of trouble, He is right there in the midst with us. He brings the strength, the stamina....the grace we need to get to the other side.

As I do more and more prep work for the wedding, I see God's beautiful tapestry that is my life. I haven't had a trouble-free life. In fact this journey just to the wedding has been long and fraught with detours and set backs. But one thing remains....the plan God has for our life. He is the one who brought us together and He's the one that will join us for life.

When God places a dream in your heart...a plan in your life....don't lose sight of the end result. The enemy likes to distract and dismantle your dream, but God put it there for a reason. And when God does something like that, He means for that dream to come true...for that plan to come to fruition. He doesn't give up, or change His mind. So hold tight and fast to that dream.

Speak words of truth over me Lord

For a little over a month now, this song "Here's My Heart" by David Crowder has been my meditation song. It's a plea and a declaration to the Lord from me. Here is my heart Lord, Here is my life Lord speak over me. 

Here's my heart Lord,
Here's my heart Lord
Here's my heart Lord,
Speak what is true

‘Cause I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I'm made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free

‘Cause You are strong, You are sure
You are life, You endure
You are good, always true
You are light breaking through

(Chorus)
Here's my heart Lord,
Here's my heart Lord
Here's my heart Lord,
Speak what is true

Here's my life Lord,
Here's my life Lord
Here's my life Lord,
Speak what is true
Speak what is true
Speak what is true

I am found, I am Yours
I am loved, I'm made pure
I have life, I can breathe
I am healed, I am free

‘Cause You are strong, You are sure
You are life, You endure
You are good, always true
You are light breaking through

You are more than enough
You are here, You are love
You are hope, You are grace
You're all I have, You're everything

(Chorus)
Here's my heart Lord,
Here's my heart Lord
Here's my heart Lord,
Speak what is true

Here's my life Lord,
Here's my life Lord
Here's my life Lord,
Speak what is true
Speak what is true
Speak what is true

Cry out to Jesus

Psalm 107:19-21

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁹ Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
²⁰ He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.
²¹ Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!

These verses today are just more confirmation from God of the work He is doing in my life. For the past week or so He has been showing me how my struggles with trust are hindering my growth. 

It started out with Him reminding me that I am to seek His face, to seek first His kingdom. How often I have heard and read these scriptures yet never really meditated on their significance and the role they play in my trust and consequently my growth.

To illustrate this, God used the ocean at night. I see Him and He beckons me to Him. My first inclination is always to say yes, God I'm willing to go where You lead. So I swim out into the middle of the ocean and then I begin to notice my surroundings...how dark and deserted it is in the deep and I turn to look for the shore and can barely make it out in the distance. Then panic sets in and I know I have to turn back to where I can touch bottom...to feel the ground beneath me. So I struggle to swim back to shore...to that security. But that security isn't real or eternal so it doesn't make me safe or strong. And putting my trust in that false security makes each day a struggle.

God says to me "Jammie, seek My face. Look to me for your security, for your safety, for your life. Don't get distracted by what you see with your human eye. Rely on My vision on My strength on My plan. Leave the shore behind for good....for a greater good. You are My precious child and there is no place safer than My arms. Leave the struggle behind."

And today, putting myself in this verse...when I cried out to the Lord in my trouble, He saved me, He healed me, He delivered me out of destruction. How can I doubt His faithfulness or His presence? I praise Him for He is holy. And He is my security. When I seek His face, everything else fades away. I see through the eyes of faith.....through His eyes not by what circumstance looks like. I can operate without the stress of the world.

I am a child of the one true King! I am saved, I am change, I have been set free! Satan has no power, no authority, no dominion over me. I don't have to accept anything he brings to me or against me. My God is well able to deliver me.....He has delivered me through His son Jesus. Praise God. Thank you Jesus. I am blessed and highly favored!

Matthew West - Hello My Name Is

I love how God continually sends us confirmation in just the right way at the right time. I got into my car last night after a day of having to keep reminding myself that I belong to God and the enemy has no dominion over me no matter what he tries to bring against me. And just so I'd know God was reminding me to, I turned on the radio and this song was playing at the point of the chorus. I hope the words of this song minister to you today as well!

Hello, my name is regret
I’m pretty sure we have met
Every single day of your life
I’m the whisper inside
That won’t let you forget
Hello, my name is defeat
I know you recognize me
Just when you think you can win
I’ll drag you right back down again
‘Til you’ve lost all belief
These are the voices, these are the lies
And I have believed them, for the very last time

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, and I have been set free
“Amazing Grace” is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King

I am no longer defined
By all the wreckage behind
The one who makes all things new
Has proven it’s true
Just take a look at my life

What love the Father has lavished upon us
That we should be called His children
I am a child of the one true King

A Thousand Blessings

I recently picked up the One Thousand Gifts Devotional by Ann Voskamp and it fit perfectly with where I've been lately. For the past couple of months, I've been in total awe over the completely blessed life I have been given by the generous grace of God.

In her introduction she explains how the original book One Thousand Gifts came about through a challenge from a friend to keep track of one thousand things she loved. As time progressed and she gave thanks for big and small things in her life she realized how much more she was being blessed and how much closer her relation with God became. In that same spirit I myself am going to begin a journey to give thanks for One Thousand....or more....blessings in my life.

1) I am thankful to have been chosen by God to be His daughter. It is not a position I take lightly. I desire to make my Papa proud.
2) I am thankful God blessed me with the best grandmother. She loved me in ways that still bring a swelling to my heart. And she taught me the greatest love in life is that between God and His child.
3) I love the three children of my heart that He allowed me to assist in raising. The adults they have become make my heart smile.
4) I could not ask for better than the two sweet voice that call me MiMi. Their precious faces and loving hearts always make my day joyous.
5) I have a job that is more of an answer to a quiet prayer than I ever expected. This place He has picked for me fulfills so much of what I desire to do and be in ways I never would have imagined on my own.
6) The blessing of a mate who is by no means perfect but is absolutely perfect for me could only have come from a generous and loving Creator who not only knows the desires of my heart but also the needs of my spirit.

That's my list for today. I feel so overwhelmingly loved!

Internal Chatty Kathy

For as long as I remember I've had this propensity to analyze and over analyze just about every conversation (written and spoken) I've had. I've been plagued by the phrase, "what did they mean by that?" And truth be known, I've been guilty of saving texts, emails, instant messages, and voice mails for months just so I can go back over them to make sure I know what they meant.

What an uplift  to my heart to read in Unglued that I'm not the only one. And not only do other women do it, but there is a way to put a stop to the negative Nelly inside my head. Praise God! Prior to this, I've never done an online bible study and I've never read a Lysa Terkeurst book. How perfect is God's timing? He readied my heart for what I needed to read, learn and apply to my life.

I've long struggled with accepting compliments. When someone compliments my work, my appearance, my attitude....anything, I'm compelled to point out my flaws to prove I'm not worthy of their praise. It is something God has been working through in me. And so now instead of pointing out the flaw, I'll smile and say "thank you." BUT inside, here comes the negative chatter. They're just being polite, they want something from you, they weren't paying attention, and on and on and on. So for me the two go hand in hand.

In His divine wisdom and love, God has blessed me with the perfect man for me. God has given him an insight into my very heart and soul....and mind. When he sees the wheels turning in my head about to attribute a hidden meaning to something he has said or done, he immediately calls me on it. I'll admit at first it irritated me because not only did it suck the wind out of my sails, it drew attention to my negative inside chatter.

In Unglued, Lysa suggests three questions to ask ourselves in order "to hold our runaway thoughts, assumptions, and misperceptions in check." Those questions include asking yourself if someone actually said this or are you making an assumption to their meaning, am I actively immersing myself in truth and are their situations/relationships that feed my insecurities? Over the last few days, I have been putting those questions into practice. And I can honestly say, they are working.

Last Saturday, my beloved and I were working outside putting tarps over a trailer full of hay and when we were done, he said, "You are beautiful in the moonlight." And my response was, "oh well, then I should always stay in the moonlight then." Because what I heard was I was only beautiful in the moonlight and what I assumed he meant was I wasn't beautiful any other time. (How quick are those runaway thoughts?!) Bless his heart, my perfect man said, "well that's the dumbest response I ever heard."

And he was right. It was a dumb because it attributed my negative inside chatter to him. And he didn't deserve that. That was before I read the chapter. That was before I had time to digest those three questions. And before I had time to pray and immerse myself in God's truth.

So last night, he's telling me about how he had been doing some work outside and there was a pile of sawdust in the yard from where he had shortened some boards. I didn't notice it and told him so. He said, "well, I wouldn't expect you to." And immediately I had all these negative thoughts about to runaway. But I paused before saying anything at all and let my mind process what he actually said vs. what he could have possibly meant by it. So instead of assuming he meant I lacked good observation skills, I asked why he wouldn't have expected me to see it. Turns out the pile was behind the shed. Needless to say, I never would have seen that unless I went behind the shed with a flashlight.

Addressing the issue of inside chatter will lead us to freedom. Freedom to pour out love on others, to think clearly, to obey God's call on our lives no matter what others think. Think on and live out truth and only truth! (Pg 149 Unglued).

I am making imperfect progress!!

The dreaded "J" word!

Jealousy. Just the mention of the word can put people on the defensive. We instinctively know that it's not a "good" emotion. We want no part of it. Jealous? Me? No way.
But in all honesty, jealousy sometimes creeps in when we aren't looking. At times it masquerades as something else....doubt, insecurity, comparison, pride....but at the core, it's envy.
I've never been one to really be jealous of material possessions. I had taken to heart the belief that to be jealous of what another person had was equivalent to telling God that what He gave me wasn't good enough.
But then there came the time that I remained single while every one of my friends got married.  Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic for my friends. They deserved happiness and it looked good on them. But suddenly that jealous spirit was alive and thriving within me.
It started with doubt and insecurity. What's wrong with me? Then comparison. What does she have that I don't? Then pride. I'm just as pretty/smart/talented as she is. I personified that wicked green eyed monster.
I'd love to tell you that it only took a matter of days to snap out of it. I'd like to tell you it took just a couple of weeks. I'd be ok with telling you it only took a couple of months. In reality, this gloomy despair went on for the better part of a year.
And when I say gloomy despair, it's not an exaggeration. Jealousy consumed me. I just didn't realize the core of what I was going through was jealousy. I never labeled it jealousy because I was too busy making it all about me.
I spent so much time in prayer seeking answers from God. What was wrong with me? Why did He want me to remain single? If He wanted me to live a single life, could He please make it bearable?
God didn't answer me in any way that I could have expected. He just showed me the beauty of the life I had in that moment. I know that it was a slow process but He finally got through to me.
"I'm not designed or assigned to carry someone else's load. When I wish for someone else's life, I waste the limited life energy  I've got to face my own challenges and opportunities. God has a beautiful plan for me - a creative best I can accomplish with my life." (page 136 Unglued) Ultimately, I couldn't compare my journey with Him to that of anyone else. He was still preparing me for what He had in store for my life. It's all about His timing.
And He has placed the perfect man for me in my life at the perfect time. A man that He hand picked for me. A man that He knows is who I need and who needs me. Those single years weren't wasted. That was time God used to prepare and polish me so that I could shine for Him.
I can't guarantee that jealousy won't rear it's ugly head again. But as Lysa says in her book Unglued, having a jealous or giving spirit is MY choice. I never want to lose sight of the magnificence of my reality in pursuit of what I perceive someone else has. I will give thanks for who I am, for what I have, for what I can do, and for Who I belong to!

Unglued in Action

The past couple of weeks have had me so busy. There has been a flurry of activity everywhere and it seems the days disappeared right before my eyes.
With all the business of being busy, I fell behind in the Unglued bible study. I started off right on track and was actually proud of myself for sticking with it. I have a history of starting lots of projects with gusto and then fizzling out to nothingness rather quickly. So when this week started and I was barely into reading chapter 5, I began to fret and feel a tad bit....unglued.
As I struggled to finish  Chapter 5 and  get started on Chapter 6, I began to hear those whispers. The ones who reminded me that I do have a "quitter" history. Voices that alternately fought to make me give me up or to skip over 5 and go directly to 6 (or better yet to skip both those chapters and move on to 7 to be with everyone else). I felt the weight of guilt and shame try to settle upon me as Chapter 5 seemed to grow in length every time I picked it up.
But because I've been reading Unglued, and  been using it in a practical way everyday rather than storing up the info for when I "really" need it, I shut out those voices with God's word. "We must spend time with God. letting His truths become part of who we are and how we live." (pg 76 Unglued). With each turn of the page, I felt God's presence cheering me on and I'm not going to lie...I felt victorious. And I'm so glad I read Chapters 5 & 6. There was so much powerful good in those chapters!
Today I finished Chapter 7 and knew in my heart and soul that this chapter is the one Satan was trying to keep me from reading. Two sentences in that chapter at first glance were powerful, " Remember who you are. I am a child of God, holy and dearly loved, whom God has set apart for a mighty plan." And they brought to mind the scripture in Isaiah 54:
 “Behold, I have created the blacksmith
Who blows the coals in the fire,
Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord."
I put down the book to take care of some tasks and started to somewhat casually say a prayer of thanks to God that I am His child. And that's when the Holy Spirit settled upon me so heavily and I felt from head to toe how significant those sentences are...how significant it is to be the child of the Most High God...how significant to be holy and dearly loved and oh how magnificent to be be set apart by God for a mighty plan! And I wept for joy.
Thank you Lysa TerKeurst for being an obedient servant of God and for sharing so much of your glorious imperfect progress. You have profoundly touched my heart and given me practical tools to keep me on the road to imperfect progress myself. And thank you so much for those words that reminded me how precious it is to be a child of the Holy One. 
 

Can I Call It Grace?

While reading Chapter 3 of Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst, I reflected on all the labels I've attached to myself as well as those placed upon me by others. Some I can remember shedding, while others were just covered up by a new one. Emotional, introverted, dreamer, procrastinator, needy, impatient, fatalistic, out of control, perfectionist....sinner.
It's hard to shed a label once you've accepted it as truth and incorporated it into your character. It becomes one of the buzz words you use to describe yourself while trying to put a positive spin on it. I'm impatient but I get the job done quickly or I'm a perfectionist so you know the job will be done right. And then it becomes like a security blanket that you can't part with.
A couple of years ago I did the Beth Moore Believing God bible study. Part of the study was to say a 5 statement affirmation several times a day. One of those statements was "I am who God says I am." That was the hardest thing for me to say. I had always taken that "work in progress" phrase to heart so to say I am who God says I am rather than I am becoming who God says I am was very difficult. All through that study I said those words but never really accepted them as true.....shh...don't tell Beth.
Then about a year ago, God finally convinced me that who I am at this given moment is who He says I am. He is chiseling me and He is transforming me. But it's on His time not mine. So at any given moment I am His masterpiece being revealed.
-For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10
As this scripture says, as Lysa expounds on, I am His workmanship and He has prepared a work for me as well as prepared me to do that work. He is fine tuning me. He is chiseling away the hard places that don't reflect His vision. Those labels attached to me are no match for the Father's chisel.
And as He chisels....Grace. I will see it. I will feel it. I will call it grace.

Who's Side Am I On Anyway?

I'm into the first week of the online bible study for Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst and just finished reading chapter two on Wednesday. Just two chapters in and I've already discovered so many golden nuggets! From reading Lysa's account of her life moments and reading the comments of my bible study buddies, I know I am not alone in feeling "unglued" and that there is a better answer than duct tape!
When I discovered the reference to Joshua in Chapter two, I had instant joy. Joshua has always been a favorite book of mine. Several years ago while I was facing a major life decision and was seeking assurance after assurance and more assurance from God that I was taking the right path, He led me to Joshua 1:9 ("Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”). What more could I ask for from God than that He be with me?But I digress.......
So I'm very familiar with the passage in Joshua that Lysa chose to illustrate the question "Who's side am I on?" But I had never viewed that passage in quite that way. I had always just took it as an assurance that God is always on the right side.I never turned it around on myself until now.
Who's side am I on? Do I switch sides if the going gets rough? Do I wait til the battle is over and the victor is clear before choosing a side? Do I fully trust God 100% with everything?
I reflected back on some incidents in my past and wasn't exactly proud of all my track record with trusting God. I start off 100% trusting God....or so I think. As time goes by and the situation hasn't been resolved in the way I thought, or the timing I thought, or the way I would have done it, I start to question myself as to whether I heard God right. Did He really say this or that? Did He say move or be still? So then I go back for more assurance (see paragraph 2) that I did get the right direction or instruction.
Even at all that I never connected not trusting God completely with not being on His side. In fact I find it appalling to think I was ever not on God's side. But now I can understand that being fully committed to being on God's side leads me to trusting Him 100% with all my heart at all times.
From chapter two "And if we ground ourselves in the reality that we trust God, we can face circumstances that are out of our control with out acting out of control. We can't always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God. We can do that." I like that. It reminds me once again that I should always fix my eyes on Christ..not on the raging storm. Everything in this world is temporary. The lasting constant is Christ. I have to keep that as my "true north". Everything else leads to chaos....to coming unglued.

The beauty of "imperfect progress"

The statement from chapter 1 of Unglued: ”What kept me from making changes was the feeling I wouldn’t do it perfectly. I knew I’d still mess up and the changes wouldn’t come instantly.” resonated in my soul on such a deep level that it felt like my heart was vibrating!
I have struggled for so long with the idea of being "perfect." It even crept into my spiritual life. I had to be the "perfect" christian. And as we all know somewhere in the deep recesses of our hearts and mind, perfection is impossible for us to attain. So I basically set myself up for failure on a daily basis. And after the failure would come guilt and shame that I had failed myself, my family, my friends and more importantly I had failed God.
It set up a vicious cycle in my prayer life. I'd spend part of my prayer time requesting help to be perfect, part for forgiveness for failure and the part in desperate pleas for a better tomorrow.....a perfect tomorrow.
After this cycle went on for too long, I finally had a dear sweet friend who FINALLY got me to truly understand what God's grace meant for my life and my failures. You'd think that was the beginning of my success story right? From that point on I wasn't bound by the desire to be perfect or the fear of failure right?
Ah, if only! In reality, what happened was I quit trying. If I couldn't make perfect choices then I would just not move. I was afraid to take risks, to get out of my comfort zone for fear of making a mistake. I took the beauty of grace and turned into something that made sense with my need to be perfect.
After several months of this refusal to budge and being bound by a new fear, God let me in on a little secret. I was never going to be perfect and that was perfectly fine with Him. In fact, if I could attain perfection, I would have no need for Him. That was my wow moment. God not only expects me to be imperfect and make mistakes, He is there to make my imperfection work for His glory!